Several moons ago, I had a very romantic relationship with Billy-Bob*
*Names have been changed to protect marriages...
Billy-Bob and I were on and off for about two years. I became close with his family. The most romantic moments of my life were with Billy-Bob and we remain friends to this day. I wouldn't trade that wonderful, painful time of my life for anything.
During the course of our friendship, I did many stupid and adventurous things with Billy-Bob as a means to prove my "undying love" and durability as a person and girlfriend. I was "madly, madly" in love, and that type of infatuation makes you do silly thing.
Like almost dying while white water rafting during flood stage on a very dangerous river. Or skiing. Fuck skiing.
I spent hundreds of dollars on skiing during one of our winters together. I clearly remember the night before our first skiing adventure. We were having a hugely expensive bottle of wine at the Yellow Brick Bank in Shepherdstown. Now---that is my type of adventure. I agreed to an impromptu skiing adventure the next morning----which also indicated I would be spending the night with Billy-Bob.
Several skiing adventures later, I was being carted off the side of a mountain in a snow-patrol thingy. I spent a couple hours in the clinic until Billy-Bob's face appeared in the window. My knee was so swollen for the few days after. An orthopedic surgeon suggested that I might have an ACL injury, but I was only making $26,000 a year and couldn't afford the cat scan---let alone the surgical procedure or the physical therapy.
Alas, my knee now gives out every now and again. The past two months, it has given out three times. Once, in front of Yossi---actually, I fell on my big ass twice during this little ballet dance. Once again while I was sitting the fuck down. (Go figure.) And then again yesterday while I was simply walking.
The whole knee goes out of place. I can feel it pop. And then a few minutes later, I can manage to pop it back in place. The whole ordeal is rather painful. When it happens, my mouth tastes like metal and I feel like fainting. Yeah. Whatever.
My left knee sucks. My biological mother has knee problems, but I don't know to what extent or what they are exactly. I am loosing weight. (Yay for 5 lbs and 70 more to go!) I need to start taking glucosamine again. And as much as I don't want to admit it, it is time to see a real doctor.
The past month, I have had two (rather horrible) dates, I have joined a singles social events club, and I have two more potential JDates on the horizon (with rather attractive men, might I add). My daydreams are filled with me falling on my big tuchus in front of these people. And after yesterday's little incident (seriously---I was just walking), I am more petrified than ever.
What is a fluffy muffin to do???
